I really want to tell you :

I read your blog today and again i feel sad. You talked about your macbook you going to sell to her. And you had a name for ur macbook and what's the new name for the new macbook that company will give you. Before you said you're not going to write anything personal. For me that is personal, when i read comment she left and your answer to her, i always felt you both are happy being together. You write nothing when you visited here, and as i said before it's very you to tell what's going on in your life. I don't know why i felt hidden by you. You're the one who control your blog, anyone who put a comment have to wait for your approval except some certain friends i guess which is sure she is in the list. So i don't know why, what's wrong with me?
When i sad i cried. Today cry, yesterday also, and it's always about her what made me cry.
One of the comment by her friend which is you also know who she is said 'you really his soulmate'. Because she know many things about you and.... i don't know what to say, my heart hurt, i had too much tears for you. Only comment and answer between you and her , my heart keep saying they are happy together, did you know how i feel? Did you still remember i cried for hours? Maybe you remember but you never remember why, You never understand me. First time in my life i cried for hours for what you said. Cried for an hour for what you wrote. And cried many many times for what i read between you and her. At the end, I want you to be happy. Your happiness is above all for me.

The money i sent you is not enough. And you owe her too. That is what we chat about yesterday that made me cry. Because i know you owe her because i asked accidentaly. I cried because why said when i asked? I promise to send you money this friday, i really have nothing actually, only a few hundred dollar for myself, i still to afraid to count how much exactly left after i paid all the bills, i'm afraid to know it's not enough then what will happen to me, but you need it more than me. I usually take bus from home to mrt ( it's about 2 bus stop or 15 - 20 minutes walk ), but this morning and tonight, i walk from home mrt and mrt home to saving a few dollar more. I have count on it, 1 day i can save $1.34, for 3 days saving it's enough for one lunch/dinner. But i have to wake up a bit earlier in the morning. My bank has minimum balance on the account so they didn't charge me additional fee, but this month my account seem almost empty, i have no money left.

This is what i want to tell you today