I really want to tell you :
You spend 5 days here since July 30th. We met after my working hour. I don't know why i feel plain today, i can not feel 'i love you' that you always told me. I feel when we have communication it's just like one person talking, not communicate.
New things i know from a few days you are here :
- You can't do double tasks together, for example, while you're on atm and i asked you questioned, you became panic because you can't concentrate on 2 things together.
- You not care on a few things, for example you not care on how much the exchange rate you had on airport and on the day you want to withdraw money which is only 2 days ago.
- You don't like to go to a place which is you haven't decided, for example i told you just go to orchard and just see which one cafe is convenience with you because i never go to cafe, i know starbucks, i know the coffe bean, i know cafe, but i never spend time there, so i don't know which one is a good one. But you don't like to just go orchard and find, i don't mind to do that, just tell me one place and i'll get there and will find what i want. I think your reason is not because of no plan, but i think you're not convenience of feel like 'being no where' while around are not familiar with you.
- My thinking about you still the same, talk and action are different, when i told you about this, you have many reason and answer for me and you are not happy.
We're chatting about man and woman, i said man are sucks because they always feel they are right. And you said woman too because woman always try to change a man, woman like projecting, woman like accusing, woman can not accept what they are.
You said 'woman' but actually it's pointed at me because you ever told me that i'm like that.
I'm sad because i thought i try to communicate, try to talk for a better relation between us, but what you feel/think is different with what i think. So i think i will not try to communicate things between you and me for a better purpose.
You said you missed american food, i bring you to 'the jack's place' and treat for your birthday dinner. You said the food is good and it have american taste, i'm glad you like it.
I didn't read your blog eventhough i know you're posting a new story. I'm not ready to read your blog. You said you like to share happy things in your life and i wonder why you never write about days when you're with me which is you said you feel happy. I dont want my name to be mention, i dont need you to talk about me, i only have question ' are you really happy when you're with me?'. I sent you offline messages before, saying 'i will not read your blog until one day you dare to write on your blog how happy you are with someone special in your life (you said i'm someone special to you) just like you write about your other happy things in your life.'
I know you dont like be 'dared' and because i ever asked about your blog, your answer is ' i will not write about my personal life' . Things that i don't understand is, that is your blog, you can delete comment, you can unpublish comment, so what's wrong with that?
My conclusion is i'm too complicated for you and you keep telling me i'm a simple person but i don't know why i don't understand you.
This is what i want to tell you today.
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